英语写作指导:高考英语满分作文及名师评析

2009高考英语满分作文

【全国卷I海南、宁夏】

【试题回放】假定你是李华，正在英国接受英语培训，住在一户英国人家里。今天你的房东Mrs. Wilson 不在家，你准备外出，请给Mrs. Wilson 写一留言条，内容包括：

1.外出购物

2.替房东还书

3.Tracy 来电话留言：1)咖啡屋(Bolton Coffee)见面取消

2)此事已告知Susan

3) 尽快回电

注意：1. 词数100左右;

2.可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。

Mrs. Wilson,

Im going out shopping, and wont be back until about 5:00 pm. I have taken with me the two books you asked me to return to the City Library. At about 1 oclock this afternoon, Tracy called, saying that she couldnt meet you at Bolton Coffee tomorrow morning as she has something important to attend to. She felt very sorry about that, but said that you could set some other time for the meeting. She wanted you to call her back as soon as you are home. She has already told Susan about this change.

Yours,

Li Hua

[名师点评]

本文属于提纲式要点作文，是学生比较熟悉的题材，体现了英语学习应该注意实用性，生活型的原则。行文人称、时态运用恰当、准确，各个要点间逻辑连贯，行文通顺。提纲类书面表达不是简单的逐条翻译，而是将所给的几个要点合理的组成比较通顺的语句，因此要仔细组织语言，合理安排结构。在语言方面，要特别注意简洁明了，开头要开门见山。

【北京卷】

【试题回放】情景作文

假设你是红星中学高三一班的学生李华，为响应绿化祖国的号召，你班四月十二日去郊区植树，请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序，介绍植树活动的全过程，给某英文杂志的绿色行动专栏写一篇以Green Action in Our Class为题的英文稿件。

注意：词数不少于60

提示词：郊区 suburbs

April 12 is memorable because our class had a meaningful experience on that day. In the morning, we bicycled to the suburbs to plant trees, talking and laughing all the way. Upon arrival, we began to work immediately. Some were digging holes. Some were carrying and planting young trees. Others were watering . After getting the work done, we put up a board reminding people to protect the trees. Before leaving we took some photos to record our green action. Seeing the lines of trees, we all had a sense of achievement. We feel its our duty to protect and beautify our environment.

【名师点评】

本文是设计巧妙的提纲要点式作文，与环保结合，立意较好。文章思路清晰，要点连贯，在语言的表达上选词新颖，同时运用了分词短语作状语等较好的句式表达。

【北京卷】

【试题回放】开放作文

请根据下面提示，写一篇短文，词数不少于50

In your spoken English class, your teacher shows you the following picture. You are asked to describe the picture and explain how you understand it.

What an interesting picture! A western young man, sitting at a table, is ready to eat a bowl of noodles. He is holding two forks the same way as we Chinese hold chopsticks. He is trying so hard to pick up the noodles that he is sweating a lot. At first glance, I think its a bit funny, for we Chinese take for granted that chopsticks are the tools for eating noodles. The man in the picture is trying to copy us. Obviously he is doing it the hard way. Maybe using one fork will do a better job, In my opinion, we dont need to copy others ways of thinking. Sometimes a simpler way of doing things may be a better way.

【名师点评】

本文是开放性作文，要求考生把握好图画内容，发散表达。考生重点要看出这个人是卷发高鼻的外国人，要体会到西式刀叉对中式食物的矛盾性。行文结构十分明晰，同时句式使用得熟练而准确。

【江苏卷】

【试题回放】鼠标是计算机时代最佳的人机交互工具之一。它极大地方便了人们的计算机操作。但是，过分依赖鼠标的习惯也会带来一些不利影响。请你以鼠标为切入点，根据下表所提示的信息，用英语写一篇短文。

鼠标的必要性对多数人来说，操作计算机，上网冲浪

鼠标的便捷性点击、移动、插入、拷贝、删除编辑文本，搜索信息

收发邮件，选购商品

点播音乐，下载电影

如果过分依赖鼠标 (请考生结合自身感受，列举两到三点)

注意：

1.对所给要点逐一陈述，适当发挥，不要简单翻译。

2.词数150左右。开头已经写好，不计人总词数。

3.作文中不得提及考生所在学校和本人姓名。

The mouse is a most effective device used by people to communicate with a computer.

For most people, its almost impossible to operate a computer without a mouse, let alone surf the Internet. A well-chosen mouse is really handy, flexible and convenient in controlling the screen. With the functions of inserting, deleting, moving and copying, it enables us to edit test, browse web page and download what we want. It can even bring us a flood of music, movies and pC games. Just imagine, all this can be done with a cute mouse.

A convenient tool can certainly make our work easier, but it doesnt always help in a positive way. Too much ready information on our fingertips leaves little room for knowledge pursuing. Too many ready answers make us less excited in finding truth. Relying too much on mouse clicking makes us lazier and less creative both mentally and physically.

【名师点评】本文为提纲式说明文体裁，所选内容与我们生活相关，考生只要把所给要点逐条陈述，适度发挥，不要逐条翻译即可。文章说理清楚，语言流畅，句式表达多样，用词恰当、准确。不失为一篇满分作文。

2008高考英语满分作文

【全国卷】

【试题回放】假定你是李华，从小喜爱大熊猫(panda),一直通过有关网站(website)关注三年前在美国圣迭哥动物园出生的大熊猫苏琳和她的母亲白云。现在苏琳即将三岁。请根据以下要点给动物园工作人员写一封信：

1、 自我介绍;2、 祝贺苏琳生日;3、 感谢工作人员;4、 索取苏琳三岁生日照。

注意：1、词数100左右;2、可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯;3、开头语已为你写好。

例文：

Dear Sir/Madam,

Greetings from China!

Im Li Hua, a student in Sichuan. Ive been a panda lover since I was a child. About three years ago I was delighted to learn that Baiyun gave birth to her daughter Sulin and Ive been watching her grow on your website,. Now shes going to be three. Id like to wish her a happy birthday and to express my thanks to you for your hard work, because of which Sulin and her parents are living a happy and healthy life in the US.

By the way, could I have a photo of Sulin taken on her third birthday? Thank you very much in advance.

Yours truly,

Li Hua

【名师点评】本文写作的内容要点如下：

1.自我介绍;2.信息来源;3.祝贺生日;4.感谢照顾;5.索取照片;6.合适的结尾。

这封信格式正确，行文规范，描述有条不紊，称呼、正文中的开头及结尾、结束语均表达到位。文章行文活泼，感情真挚，语言表述准确，洋溢着作者因大熊猫得到精心照顾而对美方人员的感激之情，以及希望自己愿望成真，得到照片的希冀之情。长短句运用合理，结合了简单句和复合句，流畅自然，不露痕迹，的确是一篇佳作。

积累卡片英汉互译

好词1.delighted adj.欣喜的，快乐的 2.express v.表达 3.give birth to v.产生，生育

好句Id like to wish her a happy birthday and to express my thanks to you for your hard work, because of which Sulin and her parents are living a happy and healthy life in the US.

我祝福它生日快乐并且对你们的辛勤工作表达我的感激之情，正是你们的努力工作让苏琳和它的父母在美国过着幸福和健康的生活。

评析：定语从句的使用。

【北京卷】

【试题回放】假设你是红星中学高三一班的学生李华，为校刊英语园地写一篇题为Our Spring Outing 的英文稿件。 请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序，叙述上周你们班从准备春游到春游结束的完整过程。

注意： 词数不少于60.

提示词： 游乐园 amusement park 垃圾箱 bin

Last Thursday, we had a class meeting to discuss where to go for our spring outing. We came up with several choices such as going boating, climbing a mountain, and going to an amusement park. Finally, we decided to go mountain climbing.

The next day, we set off early in the morning. While climbing the mountain, we enjoyed the warm sunshine and a beautiful view . However, when we reached the top, we were shocked to see litter here and there, such as bottles and banana peels. Then we started to pick up the litter and put the rubbish into the nearby recycling bin and non-recycling bin respectively.

We were tired but happy.

【名师点评】

本情景作文的内容要点如下：1.讨论;2.爬山;3.检拾别人的垃圾;4.投放垃圾。内容要点可用不同方式表达。本文覆盖了所有内容要点，较好地完成了试题规定的任务。其中，写作主题突出，详略得当，应用了较多的语法结构和词汇，而且有效的使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文机构紧凑。本文叙述清楚，描写细致，准确运用了很多富有表现力的词和句型，例如：set off early，enjoyed the warm sunshine and a beautiful view, were shocked to see litter here and there 等，将活动的情形很形象地描述了出来。

积累卡片英汉互译

好词1 set off 出发 2. litter n.废弃物 3.respectively adv.分别地

好句1.While climbing the mountain, we enjoyed the warm sunshine and a beautiful view .

在爬山时，我们享受着温暖的阳光和美丽的风景。

1. However, when we reached the top, we were shocked to see litter here and there, such as bottles and banana peels.

然而，当我们登上山顶，被眼前的一幕惊呆了：瓶子和香蕉皮这样的废弃物到处都是。

评析：细节描写，生动形象。shock一词也用得生动传神。

【江苏卷】

【试题回放】实现有效的沟通，建立良好的人际关系，不仅要善于言表，更要学会倾听。请你根据下表中所提供的信息，写一篇题为 Being a Good Listener 的英文演讲稿。

为何倾听表示尊重，增进理解，建立良好的人际关系

谁来倾听家长倾听孩子理解孩子，消除代沟，

老师倾听学生了解学生，满足需求，

同学相互倾听增进友谊，互帮互学，

怎样倾听(请考生联系自己拟定内容，列举两至三点。)

注意：

1、 对所给要点，逐一陈述，适当发挥，不要简单翻译。

2、 词数150左右。开头和结尾已经写好，不计入总词数。

3、 演讲稿中不得提及考生所在学校及本人姓名。

Good afternoon, everyone.

The topic of my speech today is Being a Good Listener.

Good listening can always show respect, promote understanding, and improve interpersonal relationship.

Many people suggest that parents should listen more to their children, so they will understand them better, and find it easy to narrow the generation gap; teachers should listen more to their students, then they can meet their needs better, and place themselves in a good relationship with their students; students should listen more to their classmates, thus they will help and learn from each other, and a friendship is likely to be formed.

What I want to stress is that each of us should listen to others. Show your respect and never stop others till they finish their talk; show you are interested by a supportive silence or a knowing smile; be open-minded to different opinions even though you dont like them. In a word, good listening can really enable us to get closer to each other.

Thank you for your listening!

【名师点评】

这是一篇感情真挚、热情洋溢的演讲稿，文中大量运用排比句型，不但准确流畅地表达出题目中所提供的信息，而且体现出作者熟练运用英语的能力以及不俗的文采。第三段中所使用的相同结构的复合句式，将倾听的对象及其作用阐述得淋漓尽致;而第四段中用一系列的祈使句议论应如何倾听，则更进一步地增强了这篇演说稿的说服力。

积累卡片英汉互译

好词1.promote v .促进 2. interpersonal adj.人际的3. generation gap. 代沟

4. open-minded adj. 虚心的

好句1. students should listen more to their classmates, thus they will help and learn from each other, and a friendship is likely to be formed.

同学之间应该互相倾听，这样他们可以互相学习和帮助，也会形成友谊。

评析：复杂句的组合，被动句的使用。

2. What I want to stress is that each of us should listen to others.

我想强调的是我们每个人都应该更多的倾听他人。

评析：复合句的使用。

【湖北卷】

【试题回放】假设你是卜曼宜，你购买了一部某外国公司生产的手机，因有质量问题，要求该公司更换。请根据下列要点，用英文写一封电子邮件。

要点：1. 问题：手机不响铃，不能发短信;该产品已售完，无法更换;型号新，无配件，无法维修。 2. 要求：公司应尽快予以更换。

注意：1. 词数为100左右;

2. 参考词汇：配件 spare part;

3. 电子邮件的开头和结尾已为你写好(不计入你所写词数);

4.已给出的电子邮件的开头和结尾不得抄入答题卡。

Dear Sir，

I am writing to you for the mobile phone of Dephone-S250 I bought on 20th Apr.2008 at Tele Mall in Wuhan, p.R. China. Ten days after that, it didnt ring and send short messages. Then I took it to the seller, but was told that the model had been sold out and I had to wait at least three months for a new one. I had no choice but to go to the repairman. To my disappointment ,he said since it was a new model in China, it was impossible to fix it without the right spare parts. I was so desperate on hearing that for I can not wait that long. Therefore, I have to require that you send me a new one of the same model within a month.

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely yours,

Bu Manyi

【名师点评】

本文内容要点齐全，语言丰富，结构合理，如头两句说明了购买手机后发现故障的情况，中间部分说明了无法维修而必须让公司更换手机的原委，最后明确提出自己的要求，明白流畅，将题目所提出的要点全部表达清楚，较好的完成了任务。全文以一般过去时为基调，结合主动语态与被动语态，并使用了so, but, therefore 等连接词，使文章结构完整严密。固定短语，如be sold out ,at least, had no choice but to go, to my disappointment, on hearing that 等的使用，使文章的语言显得地道而精炼。

积累卡片英汉互译

好词1. disappointment n.失望 2.desperate adj.绝望的3. consideration n.体谅

好句To my disappointment ,he said since it was a new model in China, it was impossible to fix it without the right spare parts.

令我失望的是，他说因为在中国是新款手机，所以没有配件来修理。

评析：复杂句的组织; to my disappointment, 常用短语。

2007高考英语满分作文

【全国卷II】

【试题回放】

一家宾馆新开业，为吸引外国宾客，希望在互联网上进行宣传。请你用英语为其 写一篇文字介绍。主要内容包括：

1.地点：距白山入口处500米;

2.房间及价格：单人间(共20间)，100元/天;双人间(共15间)，150元/天;热水淋浴;3.餐饮：餐厅(中、西餐)，咖啡厅(茶、咖啡);4.游泳池：全天免费开放; 5.欢迎预定。

注意：1.词数100左右，开头语已为你写好;2.可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。

Welcome to Baishan Mountain Hotel!

Baishan Mountain Hotel is now open for business.

500 meters far from the entrance of Baishan Mountain, it provides single?person room, of which the price is RMB100 yuan per day and the number is 20, and 15 double? person rooms, with a price of RMB 150 yuan per day. It also provides hot water bath service. You can enjoy both Chinese and western food in the restaurant and drink coffee and tea in the cafe. The swimming pool is open for free the whole day. All these services can bring great convenience to you and are very enjoyable. So come to enjoy yourself!

Welcome to book rooms in Baishan Mountain.

【名师点评】

本文开门见山，首先点明了主旨。本文最大的特点是应用了很多比较复杂的句式，使文章比较出彩。开头使用了独立结构交代宾馆位置。which引导的非限制性定语从句的使用也很正确。总地来说，文章句式精炼，是篇不错的满分作文。

积累卡片英汉互译

好词　1. provide v.提供2. convenience n.便利

好句All these services can bring great convenience to you and are

very enjoyable.所有这些服务都会给你带来便利，并且非常的愉快。

评析：bring great convenience，带来便利。

【安徽卷】

【试题回放】

假如你是李华，美国一所友好学校准备与你们学校共同创办一份中学生英文刊物，该校格林先生来信询问有关情况。请你给她写封回信，假如你是李华，美国一所友好学校准备与你们学校共同创办一份中学生英文刊物，该校格林先生来信询问有关情况。请你给她写封回信，主要内容如下：

l 表示赞成。

l 提出你喜欢的栏目。

l 简要说明理由。

注意：

1. 词数100左右。

2. 新的开头和结尾已为你写好。

3. 适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。

4. 参考栏目：栏目column

Dear Mr. Green,

I am very excited to learn that we are going to start a magazine together. That sounds great! And I definitely agree with you on that.

Some of the columns which you mentioned in the letter are really my cup of tea. Say, culture express gives us a better understanding of the world. Since people from different parts of the world have different values, its necessary to learn from each other. This will offer a wonderful chance. Apart from that, blurt out is pretty good for Chinese students to learn English idioms and improve oral English. Last but not least, entertainment is so cool! The popular singers, actors and celebrities are so catchy and attractive that you absolutely cant miss it! Teenagers are just fond of the trendy things.

Well, I cant list more. I really cant wait to read that magazine!

Yours faithfully,

Li Hua

【名师点评】

这是一篇满分作文。由于这篇作文的出现，导致了安徽省今年的英语作文分数普遍偏低。仔细分析了这篇文章，写的的确是好，很地道的美式英语，一些词语的大胆使用，让人不得不猜测此人或者是家人可能有过国外生活的经历，否则这么地道标准的英语，可不是一朝一夕所能写出来的。

比如说：my cup of tea, apart from that, oral English, last but not least, celebrities, catchy和trendy的大胆运用，list, cant wait to 简直是perfect! 况且文章中没有一个错误，不管是书写还是语法。英语能够学到这种程度，不可谓不让人佩服。

【江苏卷】

【试题回放】2007年4月29日上午10点到11点，全国亿万学生阳光体育活动在各地大中小学校同时进行，江苏省1，100万学生积极参与了这项活动。

教育部倡导学生：

u 每天锻炼一小时

u 健康工作五十年

u 幸福生活一辈子

请你根据以上提示，用英语准备一份发言稿，向同学们讲述一下阳光体育活动的有关情况，并就高三学生是否需要每天花一小时锻炼，谈谈你的看法及理由。

注意：

1、 发言稿应包括以上所有信息，要有适当发挥。

2、 词数：120左右。发言稿的开头和结尾已经写好，不计入总词数。

3、 参考词汇：阳光体育活动a national student sports program;

教育部the Ministry of Education

Good afternoon, everyone,

The national student sports program, waged by the Ministry of Education and aimed at improving students health, was held from 10：00a.m.~11:00a.m.on April 29，2007 in many primary and middle schools all over China. Almost 11 million students in Jiangsu province participated in this program.

The Ministry of Education advocates that we do exercises for one hour a day and can work healthily for 50 years. Our whole life will be very enjoyable.

In my opinion, we senior high school students should do exercises for one hour a day even though our spare time is limited. Health is a basic condition for our study. If we did not do exercises, we wouldnt be able to get good study records. So every one of you, join the program now!

Thank you!

【名师点评】

本文的结构十分明晰，同时句式使用得熟练而准确。本文分为三段，前两段叙述，后一段发表观点，典型的作文结构。在句式使用上，作者用法多样，使用了独立结构和虚拟语气，十分出彩。复杂的句式是本文的特点之一。

积累卡片

好词1.wage v.发动2.aim v.瞄准3. advocate v.提倡

好句1. The Ministry of Education advocates that we do exercises for one hour a day and can work healthily for 50 years.

教育部提倡我们每天做一个小时的运动，能够健康地活50年。

评析：advocate，其后接虚拟语气，可以省略情态动词。

2. If we did not do exercises, we wouldnt be able to get good study records.

如果我们不进行运动，我们的学习成绩就不会很好。

评析：虚拟语气。

【重庆卷】

【试题回放】

据报道，7岁的美国女孩Amy Bruce得知自己身患肺癌(lung cancer)后处于极度的痛苦之中，美国抗癌协会(ACS)决定，每当Amy收到一封慰问信，就给她增加3美分的治疗款。

假如你是新华中学的学生李华，请你用英文给Amy写一封慰问信，主要内容包括：

自我介绍

得知的情况

表示鼓励

打算为她做什么

祝她早日康复

注意：

1. 信的格式已为你写好

2. 信中不得出现你的真实情况。

3. 词数100左右。

4. 请在答题卡上作答。

Dear Amy,

Im Li Hua from Xinhua Middle School of China. Im sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer which brought you great pain. But you should realize that you are young and have a promising great future. So, stand up and fight against the disease! Im sure you will win. It is reported that the America anti-cancer association will donate three cents upon every comfort letter you receive. So I will tell your situation to all my friends and ask them to write to you. In that way, you will get enough money for you to be cured. Hope you can be well soon.

Yours,

Li Hua

[名师点评]

本文依照要求，涵盖了所有要点。文章使用了高中常见的句式，如I?m sorry to hear that..., It is reported that...等，都比较好。作者对定语从句的使用恰到好处地修饰了文章，行文自然而通顺，值得学习。

积累卡片

好词1.realize v.意识到2.promise v.允诺3.donate v.捐赠

好句1. I?m sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer which brings you great pain.

我很遗憾地得知你身患肺癌，给你带来了巨大的痛苦。

好处：which引导限制性定语从句。

2. So, stand up and fight against the disease!

因此，坚强地与疾病做斗争吧!

好处：掷地有声，语言准确。