英语六级作文:On Dieting 关于节食

Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition on the topic On Dieting. You should write at least 150 words, and base your composition on the outline (given in Chinese) below:

1)现在有越来越多人的选择节食，有的人是为了健康，但是更多的人是为了有一个苗条的身材

2)分析节食减肥可能带来的影响

3)你的建议

On Dieting

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行文思路 　

本题属于提纲式文字命题。提纲第1点指出一种现象并要求说明原因，提纲第2点要求分析这种现象可能带来的影响，提纲第3点要求针对该现象提出我的建议，由此可判断本文应为现象解释型作文。

根据所给提纲，本文应包含如下内容：描述越来越多的人节食的现象并分析主要原因;阐述节食不当可能带来的影响;针对节食给出我的建议。

高分范文

On Dieting

Nowadays more and more people are beginning to go on a diet. Some people are concerned with their health, and they go on a diet in order to lose unwanted weight. But still others, [1]especially the young women, are paying too much attention to their outward appearance. They [2]become the leading numbers who go on a diet.

[3]However, dieting might [4]bring great negative effects on people. [3]For one thing, quite a lot of people dont really need dieting to keep health, and they diet just because they want to keep slim. For them, dieting [5]not only is useless but also might damage their health. [3]For another, some people lack enough knowledge on how to diet scientifically. [3]As a result, they are likely to suffer from malnutrition.

[6]Considering the serious damage of unhealthy dieting, we should be cautious in dieting. [3]In my opinion, dieting,[7]for whatever reasons, needs professional guidance. [8]Only with right guidance can dieting work [9]as we expect.

现在越来越多人在节食。一些人担心自己的健康，所以通过节食来减掉超过的体重。但也有一些人，特别是女人，对她们外表太在意了。她们成为了节食人群的主导者。

但是，节食会对人们带来很多负面影响。一方面，大部分人都不需要真的节食来保持健康，他们只是想保持苗条身材。对于他们来说，节食不仅没有用反而对他们的健康造成伤害。另一方面，一些人对怎么科学的节食不是很了解。结果，他们遭受了营养不良。

考虑到节食的坏处，我们在节食的时候一定要小心。我认为不管是因为什么原因节食，都需要专业的指导，只有正确的知道节食才会有效果。

【亮点点评】

[1]尤其，表示强调。

[2]成为主力军。

[3]过渡衔接词语，使文章条理清晰、衔接紧密。

[4]用于引出对危害或负面影响的阐述。

[5]not only but also用于连接并列成分。

[6]考虑到，鉴于，介词。

[7]不管因为什么原因，whatever意为无论什么。

[8]only+状语位于句首，引起句子部分倒装。

[9]像我们期望的那样。

佳句临摹

1.佳句：For them, dieting not only is useless but also might damage their health.

临摹：基因技术不仅使动植物受益而且还有助于提高人类的生活质量。

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2.佳句：In my opinion, dieting, for whatever reasons, needs professional guidance.

临摹： 无论你的目标是什么，你都必须通过诚实的劳动来实现它。

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3.佳句：Only with right guidance can dieting work as we expect.

临摹：只有修满足够的学分，学生才能够获准毕业。

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【KEY】

1. Genetic technology helps not only the plant and animals but also human beings to live a higher quality

2. Whatever your aim is, you must worked honestly to attain it.

3. Only when adequate credits have been achieved can students gain the qualification for graduation.