考研英语作文:男女失衡 Imbalance between men and women

看图作文在英语作文中是大家普遍缺乏练习的一种类型，一个提高的方式就是看范例和点评，针对其中的错误进行自我修正。

男女失衡：

写作原文

In the picture,there is an unbalanced(改为imbalanced，imbalance表示失衡，不平衡，而unbalance表示[力]失衡，精神错乱) seesaw on which the one side sitting a woman with her body shaking(可改为where a women is sitting with her body shaking on the one side), and on the other side,15 men are going down on their knees asking(改为to ask，用动词不定时表示目的) the woman to marry them. The picture reveals the unbalanced(改为imbalanced)sex ratio in our country. So what causes this phenomenon? In my opinion, there are mainly two reasons. First, the conception prefer sons to daughters is very popular in our country. Through(改为Though，through为介词通过，though则表示虽然) it is not as intensive as in the old society, most parents, especially the ones in remote areas still want to have a son. Further more, along with the Birth control policy, some parents would(情态动词使用不当，可改为may) choose to abandon their child when they know she is a girl. In order to solve this problem, various measures have to be adopted. As to the government, it should draw up laws to reinforce the punishment of abortion. As to the parents, they should change their prejudice to children, and build up the conception of It makes no differences if the baby is a girl or a boy. I think under the joint effort of the government and the individuals, the condition of unbalanced(改为imbalanced) sex ratio will be improved in the near future.

图片中，那里是一个不平衡跷跷板上一边坐一个女人与她的身体颤抖，和在另一边，15名男子都去跪在地上，求的女人嫁给他们。这幅画揭示了不平衡在我国的性别比。那么什么原因造成这种现象？在我看来，主要有两点原因。首先，宁子的概念在我国很受欢迎。通过是不密集在旧社会，大多数父母，特别是那些在偏远地区仍然希望有一个儿子。此外，随着计划生育政策，一些家长会选择放弃自己的孩子时，他们知道她是一个女孩。为了解决这个问题，必须采取各种措施。作为政府，应该制定法律来加强对堕胎的处罚。对于父母，他们应该改变对孩子的偏见，树立没有区别，如果孩子是女孩或男孩的概念。我认为政府和个人的共同努力下，失衡的情况将在不久的将来改进。

总体点评

整体来说，文章写得不错;但还存在个别简单的语法错误。作者在写作完之后若可以花费几分钟时间来回读文章，便会减少不必要的错误。考研作文的整体思路你已经基本掌握，后面要做的就是多积累高分佳句，为自己的文章增彩;再者，写完之后一定要认真检查，减少失分点。

参考分数(满分20分)：13

英语写作水平的提升需要不断地练习，在改正错误中不断取得进步，不怕犯错误，怕明知道犯错误却不面对。看了范文和点评，希望大家有思考，有提高。